Growing Old
photo by coolcards
This weekend we visited my parents to celebrate Mother’s Day. As my wife and my sister-in-law chatted with my mom in the dining room, I sat next to my dad to watch the Cubs game. As usual, in between his nodding off and yelling “hit the ball, man,” he would turn to me and ask how everything is going. And of course, I would say that everything is fine and we would proceed to talk about the children, sports, my sisters, and life in general.
On occasion he would give me a big smile and a head shake because he couldn’t believe how crazy I get sometimes with my ideas about life and politics.
During this light-hearted exchange, I can’t help but notice how my dad has aged. The years of work and responsibility has made their mark on his face and hands. As I examined his countenance during one his nodding off spell, I’m reminded of one of the many conversations that Smiley Face and I had in the car.
During one of our long trek home, Smiley Face looked at my hair and said “Daddy, you have a lot of gray hair.”
I kept my eyes on the road and responded, “I know, Daddy’s getting old.”
“But I don’t want you to get old,” she answered back.
“It’s ok,” I said. “We all grow old.”
She looked at me and said, “I still don’t want you to get old because when people get old, they die.” Then, as always, she looked away and continued to look at the stores, the people, and the cars that we passed by.
“Don’t worry, I going to be a live for a long time. Plus, I’m going to make sure that I’m around when you have your own children so that I can teach them how to be crazy like you.”
With this last comment, she again looked at me and gave me one of her patented smile.
After a conversation like this, I usually would change the radio station to the one she likes just to get another smile from her. And to top it off, I would sing a long with the music and of course she would cover hear ears pretending to hate my singing.
There’s never an easy way to deal with topics such as death. Until now, I still have difficulty grappling with my parents own mortality. I am sure that my children feel the same way. Smiley Face already knows that death is a part of life so there’s no need for me to elaborate. What I try to do whenever my children present this issue is to re-focus their thoughts to the more positive aspect of death, which is the life that preceeds it.
